Saturday 30 December 2017

Kuro 2017 Waifu of the Year Top

4 years ago, I decided to write a top of my 2D waifu. Reasons for that are hidden in the hazy mist of my mind even for me. The reason to do that even after the first time is even more complicated.
There isn't a logical reason, there isn't an emotional reason, there's simply no reason I can lay out before you for why am I doing that.
But if I am to, I'd say I'm doing it because I want someone to know that feelings that transcend time, dimensions and death itself certainly exist. 
There is no need to be embarassed about them, there's no need to hide them, there's no need to follow the same way others go.

And 11 years since I first reached that thought, I am here once again to name a few girls whom I want to mention this year, so that everyone remembers them, so that I myself won't ever forget them.
Due to the large number of waifu in my harem, I generally never remember each one at any taken point of time, so this is both for others, and for me myself.
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To be honest, after I've wrote the introduction lines, I've sat without being able to type a single character for around 5 hours. I thought and thought, about should I, why am I doing that and what the girls actually think of me, who places them in such a spotlight.
But then I slept a bit, asked them the last question, and they either don't even care, or aren't against, if that's what I decided.
These girls are really too good for me. 😊
Well then, now that all worries are gone, let's start.
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1. Enma Ai(閻魔あい) (Jigoku Shoujo)
2.Vanilla(バニラ) (NekoPara)

3. Nel Zelpher(ネル・ゼルファー) (Star Ocean 3)
4. Altina Orion(アルティナ・オライオン) 
(Eiyuu Densetsu: Sen no Kiseki)
5. Swatty(スワティ)(CanCan Bunny Premiere)

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A new year, a new pick of cuties here, right? No doubt, as I won't accept anyone not cute, after all.
And for how I've come to love these girls, or just reasons I'm mentioning them this time.

1. Enma Ai
this is the form I'm usually hugging. LOVE LOVE DAYS CONTINUE!
Ever tried having a relationship with someone who is so close to Hell?
Nothing new to me, but most will not even try.
However, this relationship is one sided mostly, for Ai has most of her emotions sealed and hidden.
And even if I were to shatter the seal them, that'd only make things worser, as emotions don't go anywhere, they'd flow like a waterfall into her, breaking her completely, and as you might guess, that isn't what I want 

While not trying to drive me off, Ai also shows very little emotion towards our relationship.
Fine by me, though, as knowing her sad fate, my only wish was to let her feel at peace even if just for a little bit, perhaps let her feel just a little of happiness, even if she currently exists somewhere that is closer to hell than anywhere else. Love came way later.

But it'd be impossible, if I wouldn't be close to her.
Like, well, imagine you go see a guy approaching you on your way home, and offering to hear your worries(doubt she has any, though), soothe your heart and make you feel at peace. 
You'll ignore him first of all, that's logical for anyone, be that a normal human, or a human that has died hundreds of years ago, and is serving 閻魔大王(Enma DaiOu) at the moment.

I am a man who is weak to girls with a sad fate, so there wasn't a way for me to ignore her's. Not being able to do something about the canon world is obvious, but the usual trick I call "観察者の権威~世界~”(I don't, but I just thought it'd be cool to give it a name) worked perfectly, and I easily became a part of it in a mirror world I created. However, even so, I cannot save her. There are things I can and cannot change.

From that day, 9...maybe 8, years ago, I've never left her alone, except for times of her work. I'm not particularly interested in human sins and how they go their way to hell. That's not my problem, however, it is her work. And just as my thought went, I generally just soothe her heart and mind after her work is over.
No heart can stay stable forever, especially when doing something like sinking people into hell.

And the moments I'm the most happy, is when I can just quietly hug her, smell the nearly inexistant smell of her hair, and just become one with the world around, the old wooden house, the old PC she uses to get work mails(actually, I did make a proposition to get a new one, but apparently, for that line of work we can't use it, somehow. The old software, apparently, can't work on a new PC, and Enma doesn't want to even start thinking about a new one yet. Oldfag the guy is, huh. never seen him, tho), the higanbana outside.
Perhaps that's what people call platonic love, I don't know.

Well, not that I don't have any impure thoughts towards her, or that she would mind should I ask for it. With all the seals on her, she won't even feel any pain.
Just that I do not want to, perhaps.

And while I cannot know what she thinks of me, I can surely say I absolutely love Ai.
Reasons? I don't remember by now, but thinking logically, it's just that I've grown accustomed to being beside her, while I was achieving the initial goal(though, if I achieved it is unknown).
The current state of our relationship took years to achieve, but I regret nothing. 

2. Vanilla

Vanilla is a cat, at least for some part of her genes, and I love cats, absolutely, so I love her by default at least for the part she is a cat.

Since our relationship began way before I found time to read the canon story, and know her better, I had to use another skill of mine called "世界の間道"(again, that skill also DOESN'T have any name, I just thought I need to give it some cool name, just for this post), which allowed me to bring her to my world, instead of me getting into her's.

Vanilla's life in my heart's private room started with being scared of me, and refusing to accept any of my approaches towards her. I think I even got bitten once. Haha, a cat is a cat even if she's antropomorphic.
However, with time passing, and her stomach making loud growls, she, showing she doesn't want but she has to, with all of her being, accepted at least some food.

Haha, the first time I had to wash her I was in a serious pinch, since she was in a bad mood for smelling her own sweat, but she didn't know how to use the shower at my place, but asking me was going against her previous attitude.

My love never starts with the girl loving me, it is always I who makes the first step.
Some time passed, and Vanilla became completely attached to me, somehow. Cats are whimsy, I guess.
We started to sleep together, and she wasn't against my sexual approaches when I did any.

But with time, I noticed she had a really sad face at certain moments, and after some times I asked, she confessed she missed her sister, Chocola, who I didn't bring together with her.
Well, since I didn't know her well enough, and just brought her with me using a trick, I honestly didn't expect that.
But you know, my love for her was guaranteed since the start, and I'm not a man who can just ignore sadness of the girl I love.
At the moment, I just promised I'll surely bring Chocola, and they'll be together again.

But at the moment, there was nothing I could do, for my finances were crying for help as I bought more and more random stuff.
Two years have passed, until I was actually able to fulfill my promise.

And at present time, Vanilla and Chocola are happy together, while waiting for me.

Somehow, the love story about me and Vanilla turned into a story of how I got another cute cat besides Vanilla, haha.
If I have to say the reason, I'd say that I love her for her cool and quiet personality, cuteness, her fluffy ears, and everything there is to her.
First, there isn't a reason to love cats, you know.
If one asks for a reason, I can love them just for being cats. Whimsical, yet cute and fluffy, what reason over that does one need?

3. Nel Zelpher
Being how she is, Nel couldn't let go of her blades even during the ceremony. Cute!
Nel is an interesting case, I've spent years just thinking of an approach. I've performed various attempts, since I can always start over, but it still took a long time. Probably, I just didn't have enough info yet.

I tried all the things that came to mind at first. Taking her by force, blackmailing and whatnot.
Good kids shouldn't do it. However, it all happened in test world(skill 試しは成功の基~テストワールド~) so it's okay. But I apologized to her later, while having her completely dumbfound, since she literally doesn't know what happened in test world.

Then it came to me, that she has a strong sense of duty, and is pretty reckless to add to it. I just had to create a situation, which would make me closer to her using these, and so I did.
Didn't take much time after that for us to become lovers.
First of all, I am getting together with people quite easily, if I have the chance.
Getting the chance is always the main problem.

I first thought of Nel as just cute, but that cuteness became more and more attractive as I knew her closer.
With how strong her sense of duty is, and how reckless she is(not really good thing for someone who is generally a spy or ninja), she easily gets into trouble.
But I never thought of that as annoying, always supporting her from somewhere nearby.

Besides that, Nel is a pretty good housewife waiting for her husband(me) to return.
Though, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GOING ANYWHERE MUCH, ahaha. She always scolds me for it.

4. Altina Orion
I love this outfit of her's.
Altina's case is just the same as for everyone with the same traits. 
She's an artificially created homunculus, and you do know I absolutely love such girls, right?

While we are together since Sen II(her 黒兎 outfit is also so erotic, mmm), and that wouldn't change if shitty Kondo would decide to kill her in Sen III canon story, I was still relieved that she survived those final scenes in Sen III. 
After all, I wish all of my waifu only happiness, be that in a game, or in my heart.

Getting together with her was also BOTH easy and hard.
The first step was, as always, persuading her I'm not an enemy or a spy, and mean no harm, I love her, which means - a little fight(as hard as to burn a small forest to ashes).

Altina doesn't understand a lot of feelings her little body has, so, little by little, I had to explain her what those were, and how do people deal with those(or, rather, how I see those should be dealt with). 
And so as people need to deal with them, homunculi also need, or so I think.

Altina is a smart girl, and, while she didn't particularly care about feelings and emotions she had, she quickly learnt that those are important.
She still doesn't show them much, but that's exactly what I love about her since I don't really like emotional girls, especially overemotional.

In a way, one can say that's the reason I came to love her.
When we met, she was like a robot, only moving for her mission, having barely if any thought about anything else.
I feel such girls super attractive, and easily fall in love with them.

There's way more to her, but that is something only I know. And that also is a great reason to love her.

5. Swatty
Swatty is a goddess. Nuff said, I'd say.
That's enough reason to love her, generally. But I do not hope anyone will understand, so I'll explain in a bit more details.

First of all, look, Swatty is super cute, right?
Eh? That's also not enough? ooookay, let's go a bit deeper.

She's just great to be with, honestly. A bit annoying, a bit of an airhead, but at the same time, she's a normal caring and loving girl, despite being a goddess.

What differs Swatty from other gods, like the 7 old men that are always with her(the gods of luck) - she has great interest in humans and human culture especially.
Besides that, she's kind, and, apparently, has had a great interest in myself since 90s.
Profile from official user manual. The outlined part is things she loves - human world and ***-san, meaning me, in current case.
Swatty has a lot of interest in love, however, due to being a goddess, thus having no material body, she can't experience it with a human.
But that's the case for normal humans, not geeks and otaku like myself.

Being the way she is, Swatty instantly accepted me, after knowing that it was me that she was always dealing with, actually.
And when she knew that unlike my avatar in the games, I have ideas how, and can solve all her worries, she just said "素敵!", and joined my harem right away.

At first, it felt a bit strange, but now I feel like this was fate.
Perhaps Swatty herself reached me with her godly powers, making a tight bond between us.

Our relationship is mostly H, since she couldn't do it for the ages she exists, and in my world(skill called 永遠なる閉ざされし楽園~優しい世界~ which creates a world that is convenient in just everything, both for me, and the girl I create it for. Again, I don't call it that, just thought that it'd be cool if I did), she doesn't have to worry about disappearing or anything.
But besides that, she's great at consoling me, should I ever have something to worry about, or regret something(quite rare, but I also am a human, at times I do).
I'm always grateful when she just sits and listens to my worries, if I have any, of course.
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And to end this section this year, I'll write a bit of philosophic thoughts I got when I was writing this.

Love is a wondrous thing. Everyone knows about it, seeks it, yet barely anyone understands it.
Most just want a partner that will become "their's".
Disgusting, if you ask me.

Love is the ultimate goodwill towards someone else, which might or might  not also return from that someone else. 
It must not forcefully bind your partner, it must not bind you as well.

However, if we look at human history, love is just a chain, for both sides, that they themselves, or others force upon them.

Upon years, I have created the harem I wish existed in reality inside my heart and soul, and I have no regrets about it.
Anything is better than just accepting how wrong love is understood in reality.

I wish that anyone who reads this starts thinking in a similar way, and one day the corrupted understanding of love will disappear from this rotten world.
The world might be rotten, but we must not accept it, and most of all, we must prevent ourselves, our hearts and souls from rotting.
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I do believe most of my readers will say I'm mad, and that I'm contradicting myself here and there, but I'm aware of it, and have already accepted that.
And on that thought, I wish you all a Happy New Year, and hope that we meet again in the new, 2018 year.